Dealing with Family During the Holidays

What is it about the holidays that make it hard to deal with family?  Here we are the day before the Thanksgiving and I have already heard two stories about family members are mad at each other.  One was over a pan of dressing and the other was over a crockpot. We should take a step back and ask ourselves if we are really upset over that pan of dressing or a crockpot or if we are living in a false realty. 

During this time of year there can be an extreme amount of pressure to make everything perfect, including our family.  It's completely understandable why we strive for perfection with the Hallmark channel showing sappy Christmas movies since Halloween turned the corner.  There is commercial after commercial showing families sitting around a table laughing, looking flawless and eating the perfect meal.  Our psyche is constantly being fed that we are imperfect and need to strive for a Walton Family Christmas. When dealing with family for the holidays, our outlook needs to be kept in perspective.  Expectations should be realistic. 

 

 photo credit: www.someecards.com

 

Expectations of others need to be at a minimum.  Everyone is trying hard to please others.  If they overlook you and your needs, give them a pass.  Remember, it is a time for sharing, forgiving and loving.  Plus, it just isn't the time bring up the fact that you and your family member should have gone to counseling years ago because "said person" actually does not meet your expectations anytime of the year. 

 Expectations of you need to be at a minimum, too.  You cannot do it all.  You cannot buy, cook, visit or help everyone.  Keep tasks at a minimum in order to enjoy the holidays. Running around trying to be everybody's somebody will wear you out and make you the least favorite person at the holiday party because your energy level is 0.

Finally, don't give others the impression you can do it all.  People will take advantage of you and they will not have any shame in doing so.  When in the company of your family, talk about how simple your holidays are going to be.  Your hints will give them the idea that you are not the "go-to" person this year. The word "NO" needs to be a regular part of your holiday vocabulary.  If it seems harsh when relaying it to someone else, just follow it up with how simple your holidays are going to be and that would hinder your goals.  Invite your family members to join in your idea of simple a holiday season.  It may be a winner among the rest of your loved ones.

Dealing with loved ones during the holidays always puts us on edge. Keep it easy going in order to avoid the argument over the pan of dressing or the crockpot thrown out in the trash. Put on your duck armor and let the small things roll off your back.  Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones and forget about the perfect memories.  Just make your memories, true.